ACBDD Special Edition: Getting by with a little help from friends (and family)

Below is an excerpt from the ACBDD’s 2026 Special Edition, which is produced in partnership with Ohio University’s E.W. Scripps School of Journalism and The Post. The full edition can be found here.

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By Camryn Quiggins

If you were to walk into the Texas Roadhouse in Athens on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday evening, you would likely seen Dale Ellis near the entrance welcoming customers with a friendly smile. His easygoing presence has made him a familiar face among regulars and coworkers.

What many don’t see, though, has been the steady, meaningful support from friends and family that have helped him grow in confidence and independence over the years. For Ellis, who has worked at the restaurant for eight years, the job represents more than employment — it offers stability, confidence and a sense of community.

“I love Texas Roadhouse,” he said. “Being the door greeter has been wonderful for me.”

That independence, however, didn’t develop overnight. Gradually, Ellis had been building a life supported by family, friends, staff at the Athens County Board of Developmental Disabilities, and routines that kept him active and connected. With the support of those around him, he has gained confidence in managing his finances, schedule and personal goals.

A significant part of that progress could be traced to his friendship with Barry Oches, a retired Ohio University employee and longtime volunteer with the ACBDD’s Friends, Allies and Neighbors program (known as FANs). Oches is also now an ACBDD board member. The two were matched through FANs nearly a decade ago. Oches became involved with the ACBDD shortly after retiring from Ohio University in 2014.

“After I retired from OU, I wanted to volunteer,” he said, explaining that he first spent time at ATCO (the agency’s former day program for adults with developmental disabilities) before being encouraged to become a FANs participant.

He said the FANs program was grounded in genuine connection and community support.

“The FANs program is really about building relationships among community members,” Oches explained, adding that “it’s neighbors supporting one another.”

Ellis and Oches spent time together in ways that had become familiar parts of their friendship — eating lunch at Subway, hiking at Strouds Run, or attending Sunday services at Central United Methodist Church in Athens.

Those routines took on deeper meaning in 2024, when Ellis’ mother passed away. Oches said the loss marked a pivotal point in Ellis’ life as he began taking on more responsibilities.

“When Dale’s mother died, he really had to step up and become independent on his own, and I helped with that,” Oches said.

The two attended church together every week, something Oches said had always been important to Ellis’ mother.

Ellis described his friend as a calm and compassionate presence — “understanding and patient,” he said, someone who “thinks before he speaks and is always cheerful.”

As Ellis’ payee, Oches has helped manage rent and bills while promoting Ellis’ day-to-day independence. “I’m just here to support him,” Oches said.

That support from Oches and others have helped Ellis gain financial independence, as well.

“Having my own debit card instead of asking somebody for cash all the time was a big step,” Ellis said. “It makes me feel proud.”

Over time, Ellis has developed a wider network of friends and community members who have helped him stay active and connected. Watching that network grow had been meaningful, Oches said.

“He’s developed quite a network of people who help him — take him to work, to Walmart, to church — and that’s great,” he said. “It doesn’t all fall on me anymore.”

He added that Ellis himself is reliable and optimistic. “I tell Dale he’s very low maintenance,” Oches said, laughing. “He’s independent, dependable and doing well.”

Their friendship, Oches emphasized, went both ways. He described Ellis as “joyful, competent and independent,” noting that Ellis had always presented himself with confidence and capability. “He is family,” Oches said.

Melissa Walker, Ellis’ service and support administrator at the ACBDD, said she had watched his independence grow in meaningful ways throughout their years working together. She described him as dependable, thoughtful and eager to take on more responsibility to become more financially independent.

Walker said Ellis’ journey reflected the purpose of the ACBDD programs: supporting individuals as they built meaningful, self-directed lives.

“Barry listens to what Dale wants to do and helps him find ways to make it happen,” she said. “Their friendship is built on trust and respect, and it’s been great for Dale’s growth. They’ve formed a connection that goes beyond the program.”

At Texas Roadhouse, Walker said Ellis’ dependability is clear in his work ethic and attitude. She said he consistently shows up, works hard and takes pride in what he does.

Faith was another steady part of Ellis’ life. Sundays at church give him a sense of routine and community, and provides lessons he applies to daily life.

“I just try to be kind to people,” Ellis said. “I hope others will be more compassionate and think before they speak.”

Walker described Ellis as a kind and compassionate person, adding that he brings that same warmth to everything he does.

For Oches, Ellis’s outlook had made a lasting impression. He said their friendship has grown through trust, consistency and shared experiences. To those who knew him, Ellis’s story isn’t centered on one major moment but on steady progress — the kind that developed through friendship, community and support.

“Independence isn’t just about doing everything by yourself,” Walker said. “It’s about being part of a community that helps you grow. Dale has that, and he gives back to it every day.”

Ellis says he is grateful for the people who have supported him.

“I’m proud of what I’ve done,” he said. “And I’m thankful for everyone who’s helped me along the way.”

Edited by doctoral student Ebenezer Fayah Amartey